Bang bang! 🔫
Human beings are funny. They long to be with the person they love but refuse to admit openly. Some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear. Fear that their feelings may not be recognized, or even worst, returned. But one thing about human beings that puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their affection even if it kills them slowly inside.
I am so tired of “the city”. I’m drained from the daily struggles and keeping up with the “hustle”. I am the happiest I can be when i’m in nature and that is exactly where I need to be right now. I’ve been losing all motivation to work hard and I feel myself starting to become stuck in one place. My heart just isn’t dedicated anymore. I find myself stuck in repetition, and I hate it. I need to get away and reset myself.
Thought I couldn’t live without you. It’s going to hurt when it heals too. Even though I really love you, I’m going to smile because I deserve to. Oh, it’ll get better in time.
There’s a difference between being confident and just acting egotistical. Know the difference and don’t ever go over to the egotistical side when you’re around me. I will call you out on it.
Even in my drunken and foolish stupor, I’m coherent enough to know you’re still the only person I want. That’s got to mean something right? That even when I can’t think straight, you’re still the person I think about? It means something to me at least.
God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons that we could learn in no other way.
I couldn’t really choose a certain topic so this blog is just a whole mush of a lot of things I can just spill on this page. Enjoy it. This is all candid and from the heart and brain. I just have so much on my brain that I have to get it out before I go crazy. So if this is all over the place, it’s because I’m just typing whatever comes to mind. So, what is the definition of happiness? Short period of joy and smiles? I emphasize on short period. Why? Cause it seems like happiness can never stay in one persons life forever. Think my opinion is wrong? Then tell me this, have you honestly been happy your whole life? Every single second since the day you were born, have you been happy? The answer should be no. So what is happiness? It is the climax to everyone’s life, then after all the happiness is the falling action. So the truth I say about happiness is, it’s a time to time thing. You can never have happiness 24/7, no matter how hard you try. I may sound like a pessimist, but really i’m not. I realize that you can’t be happy all the time, but as long as everything is alright at the end of the day, what else matters? The first thing people should also realize about happiness is that you should never depend on another person to make you happy. You are your own person and your happiness factor should be determined on your own. Well onto my next topic, experiences? Sure why not. I like to call learning from an experience an epiphany. Why? Cause once you start learning from an experience you have a sudden realization of things, and isn’t that what an epiphany is? Yes. So I may get into the religion part of this blog, but just hear me out. I’m starting to realize that maybe, God gives us our experiences to prepare us for what is to come. He intentionally puts us through tests so that he can help us adapt and grow in controlled situations. He puts us into situations that he knows we’ll learn from later on. He sets us up for tragedy not because he wants to punish us for sinning against him, but to makes us strong for the things he has layed out for us in our future. He created us, so he must know what lies before us. Sometimes the situations we go through will hurt us in ways we can’t explain to anyone and no one but yourself can understand, but at some point in the future you’ll come upon a situation just like the one in your past. At that moment in time though, you’ll have more wisdom of what to do. Because you have been through it before. God never wastes an experience. The only thing is how we respond to the experiences. We must be humble students and allow God to teach us something, but God’s love never fails. Some may go through so many situations to help them learn the whole lesson. Yet in the end they will know that through all the hurt and pain and tears they will become stronger and have more knowledge, and remember that God will be there for them. No matter how long it takes them to become the strong person God wants them to be. I have always gone by this specific quote when it came to troubles in my life “Experience is the hardest teacher, it gives the test first, and the lesson after”. So always use your experiences to make you stronger for your future. Well here goes my last topic, and I know this will be a very emotional topic for me, and maybe for those reading it. In this life we receive three of the greatest things that can be achieved through time, and those three achievements would be; Faith, Hope, and the greatest, Love. Three words, three different meanings, yet somehow they all fit in the same category. Funny, right? But how exactly can I explain any of these words/feelings, when it’s difficult for me to even believe in the last one? Guess I can try my best, right? Why not. If I fail, you can always correct me I don’t mind. Rather fail trying than not attempting at all. So going on, faith. Lets see what a dictionary has to say about faith shall we? “Confidence or trust in a person or thing”. To me that means that when you have “confidence” in someone you believe that they’ll do something great, or they’ll be astounding in something. To have confidence in someone is showing them that you look beyond anything bad they have done and you can believe that they have purpose, and will and can achieve greatness. Now trust in a person, when you trust in someone you give them the power to control things. Usually with me I can’t trust people very well. So it shows to you I don’t let people control things with me. I don’t rely on things they say, it’s more about their actions. “Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation”. Hope is like a wish, sometimes its do-able and sometimes it’s just something that cannot happen. To hope is to believe that a certain action or feeling or thing will or may happen. “I hope for a better tomorrow”. You ask for the next day to be enjoyable, but you’re not certain it will be. Hope to me can be unknowing and keeps you on your toes. It never gives a direct answer. It leaves you lingering wondering what the final answer will be. Hope is something everyone should have. Always be optimistic with hope cause you never know what can happen. Especially when you hope for things wonderful, exhilarating, joyous. On to the last topic. I really do not want to talk about this but it’s been heavy on my mind. L o v e; four letter word that can bring on so many different emotions to a person. One emotion being hurt, which is also a four letter word that is not pleasant. I honestly don’t know where to start with this topic. It’s so hard for me to write about this without crying. Love to me is not something that should be taken lightly. To be “in love” means to me that you are in the presence of something wonderful. You get that feeling of warmth and sense of security. When you are in love you feel that your life is going ever so slowly, yet wonderfully. You start to live a life that is so breezy and gentle. Now when it comes to that time, you start to love that person. Now no longer is it that you are “In love”, but now you have something to love. I know it may not seem like there is a difference, but really there is. Cause now you have a set thing to love. It is that person you call your significant other/baby/babe/honey/sweetie/etc. You give all your time to that one person. You do anything just to make them happy. Why? Because you feel that seeing them happy before you is the best thing ever. So what does loving a person mean to me? It means showing them that you are there for them, no matter the situation. Loving a person is not all about just saying “I Love You”, it is about the actions. When you Love someone you support them, you encourage them, you believe in them. I once told someone that I love the person they brought out in me, I love who I am with them. When you love someone, you show that you will be there through the good and bad. Many people tell me, oh I fell out of love with that person I guess it’s life and it happened. I believe that life has nothing to do with people “falling out of love”, because if you truly loved them then that love will never disappear. You can never stop loving a person. Why not? Because no matter what, you left that part of yourself with them. That part that only that certain person could bring out in you. So the next time you say “I don’t love that person anymore” Think twice. In a complete thought to sum up my theory of love, it’s sort of simple. “Love is a ride or die thing”. When you truly find a person that brings out the best in you, that’s when all you want to do is be there for them. Ride or Die. Past nor the Future counts. What matters is the present. As long as you love them, you will protect them, support them, and conquer all things with them. Always remember though, patience is key. “Love is like art, it can never be rushed. It takes time to see the perfection in the finished product” So there you go. My night of thoughts. I know I may still be young and most of my thoughts may not be right, but it’s my perspective. You are you, your brain is yours to control so do not let others influence you to be somebody you don’t want to be.
Always remember, when your heart and mind fail you, God will always be by your side ready to catch you when you feel like falling. In his arms you always be. He will never give up or forget you. No one is more understanding than God himself. God will always be the gravity to your life. No matter what fails you, he will always keep you leveled and never let you float away from him.
Sometimes people don’t make that commitment with someone because they get comfortable with being with someone just the way they are. Don’t let yourself become so comfortable with becoming close to a person, that you forget you have no official commitment ties to them. You don’t want to be stuck with a person for so long and one day wake up and realize you two aren’t even a couple. Yet you have shared your fears, dreams, and secrets with this person. But it’s still unclear if you two are even dating. If you’re stuck in something like this, hold back a little. It may seem selfish, but it’s what you need to do to protect yourself. That doesn’t mean to not let them in, but hold off on the big things(Sex, calling each other babe/baby, saying I Love You). If they truly want to make that commitment with you soon, they’ll respect the fact that you want to save things for when you two are together. But also know when to walk away. Don’t wait around for years just waiting for them to make you theirs officially. You know yourself the best, and you’ll know when to walk away. Just remember, don’t give your all to someone who is still unsure about making a commitment with you.
Take her out in nature, where there is no one to distract you from getting to know the real her. Away from the world, and all the pressures it brings a person. Watch the way she reacts towards all of God’s creations. Sit with her and just talk to her. Watch the way her eyes light up and her smile grows when she talks about the things she loves. Give her a atmosphere where she can be comfortable enough to tell you her fears. How do you expect to be in a relationship with this person, when you won’t take the time to step away from the world and be alone with them? Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to get our friends and family to know that “special person”, that we spend all our time around them so they’ll become close to the people you care about. But yet we haven’t taken the time to figure out all the reasons why we deem this person special. At the end of the day, the alone time you spend around your special someone is what matters the most. Please take the time to know someone, before making that special commitment with them.
*In short, do what Landon did for Jamie in A Walk to Remember! He took all her bucket list wishes, and used it to learn who Jamie really was.*
do u ever talk to the person u like and ur heart starts doing some dubstep shit
Is it bad that I feel guilty but at the same time a little happy over what happened a couple days ago? It was a nice moment, but inside I feel guilty. As if it shouldn’t have happened. Bleh.
Today was cute. “He” came over just for a little bit & knew how sick I was and put me on his lap (like he was carrying a baby) and just held me so tight. I fell asleep instantly and within a minute, I felt him kiss my forehead and start to hold me a little tighter.